I don’t really remember the exact day I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I suppose it was in September because I had to meet the Oncologist on Halloween and I am assuming it took awhile to get an appointment, so that would leave us in September sometime. (And yes, my memory was just as bad before I had Chemo.)
But, the years after are really a blur. I am glad I kept a journal because I would not have remembered a darn thing. And there were great things that happened in the years after treatment. I DO remember my daughter turned 16 and learned to drive, then left for college soon after. We moved from our house of 10 years, I rebuilt my Pilates business, started Inner Tough Girls, created an exercise dvd and now I’m watching my son turn 16 and learn to drive. Yes, it is eerie how things evolve and come full circle.
When I was finishing my treatments and surgeries I was very ‘pink’. Then it went to complete disdain of anything pink and now it’s at a comfortable level of respect. I don’t ‘celebrate’ October or my years of being cancer-free because cancer has taken up too much of my time as it is. It’s kind of like exercise, you can’t ‘do it all in one month ‘ and get good results. Cancer awareness should be an ongoing part of our lives. In the beginning, I did things so cancer didn’t come back. Now I do things to stay healthy. It was a big shift in thinking.
Every time I make a comment about “pinkwashing” or complain about cancer, I am giving cancer my time and thoughts. It takes up space in my head - time I could spend doing other things. I have respectfully put boundaries on how much time and energy cancer gets from me. I have not put boundaries on the amount of people I can help become healthy.
Cancer will always be a part of my life. I am dedicated to showing people a different way to move through Survivorship. I do it with exercise and movement yet the lessons spill through our life everyday. I am blessed to know my path.
I think races and awareness walks and celebrations are a wonderful thing. Especially for the people that walk them. It gives people a way to heal, a way to connect, a way to support and be supported. It raises money for something that, quite frankly, saved my life. So, who the hell am I to object to putting something on a label?
Of course I want people to be aware. Be aware of everything! Your thoughts, your actions, how you treat people, how you move. Be aware of the foods that are the very best for you. Be aware that certain exercises can heal you. Be aware that breast cancer does not show up conveniently and then go away like the flu. Be aware of your body because most of the time it is giving you red flags and we ignore them.
I don’t celebrate October as ‘ Breast Cancer Awareness Month’ or as an anniversary to anything because I would rather focus on being the happiest, healthiest best person I can possibly be all the time. I would rather celebrate being ‘me’.
** If you are interested in being focused on staying healthy then you should definitely check out The Tough Girls Guide to Life After Cancer.
Tags: angella hamilton, breast cancer, Breast cancer awareness, cancer Survivor, Inner Tough Girls, October, Pink October, The Pilates Lounge, tough girls guide to life after cancer